| Dec. 19th, 2005 @ 10:30 pm A brief synopsis of the nervous breakdown of Mr. Simko |
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I now know the taste of failure.
For years now I have been doling out abuse and cruelty with unabashed shame.
Today I drove around in my brand spanking new 1986 Ford F-150 heavy half ton with a granny 4 speed. Neil was with me and I drew a conclusion I am completely losing it. Everytim I do something nice bad things happen, I will express this fact with comedy.
I've been drinking for a long time, i believe I started when I was 6 months, not old mind you, 6 months in the womb. I've been drinking longer than they age most scotch. I hang sheetrock for a living and one day I had a few shots for lunch and hung a cieling well I stop to smoke a cigarette and the cieling drops right on my head. So i decide its time to quit drinking im gonna go out and have my last drink right after I finish my beer. So I finish my beer, boss man walks up to me and tells me go home your drunk. I head out to the bar and proceed to have 20 or so last drinks. I get home and lo and behold my friends have decided to have an intervention about my drinking. mind you several of these people who are telling me drinking is bad are cracking open cold ones. So I really say Im never drinking again, in fact I help my mom move into her new house, the next day, and My truck that I succesfully left unlocked for 3 years without theft gets stolen and set on fire, then New Orleans gets hit by hurricane katrina. and millions of people may have died. then I find out I may be a father, these are very scary things to a newly sober guy, so I crack a beer, and i get a call not 20 minutes later, she had her period, i turn on the news, people are stealing henikens and partying on thier roofs, and I get a new car.
Needless to say when I do nice things like quit drinking or help people I get fucked over. Its not going to happen ever again, nuh uh no way.
Example. Last night I set up groble who couldnt get play at the house of the rising sun with two certified spanish ingots of gold in hand, got play. I did not. I do something nice I get nothing.
Since I was 4 I have been immersed in school and steadily challenged with new and interesting Ideas. I am no longer bombarded with anything but stupidity. my job is unstable and the majority of it is stupid punch outs. I dont get trusted with especially creative or interesting tasks hopefully this will change soon with a new firm
I feel I should apologize for boring those of you who took the time to read this and thereby deprive yourselves of valuable time you could spend masturbating, watching rachael ray cook, cooking, masturbating to rachael ray cooking, cooking and masturbating.
instead fuck off.
also for those of you who have my cellphone number do me a favor and lose it, I'm tired of getting phone calls there should be three major reasons to give me a phone call
you want to have sex with me
you want to give me money
you want to make me a sandwich
or variations such as
you want to have sex with me and give me money for it
you want to have sex with me for money and make me a sandwich when I'm done
finally bring me bill orielly head on a pike, and when you do, being as you're on your way over, go ahead and grab me some beer
-Jim |
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